It’s been said, “Marriage is the full-length mirror that reveals our selfishness.” Shannon and I have now been married for eighteen years and one of my favorite ways to connect with my spouse is our marriage weekly meeting.  Like all marriages, we have ups and downs.  We have had our good seasons and our difficult seasons.

3 major reasons why people get a divorce.

  • Bad Communication
  • Financial Pressure
  • Lack of intimacy

As you take a dip down in each of these three folders in your marriage there is room for a lot of selfishness to creep in.  “It’s so easy to drift towards an inward focus of your needs when it comes to your sex life, your needs when it comes to your wardrobe, your needs when it comes to what you think is best for your children.”

Maybe you’ve thought or even said out-loud, “My spouse and I are not on the same page.”  I would ask you this question, “Let me see that page?”   I’m going to guess there isn’t a page.

One of the ways that Shannon and I stay on the same page and work intentionally to focus on one another’s needs and bury our selfishness is the weekly meeting.

The ingredients of the meeting

  • We set aside 30 minutes each week of uninterrupted time.
  • We are diligent to make other appointments revolve around this meeting.
  • We guard that time as important
  • We meet in our room and lock the door. After all, we have 3 young children.

The 5 Questions we ask:

  1. What brought you joy this week?
  2. What was something hard this week?
  3. What is one specific thing I can do for you this week?
  4. Is there any unconfessed sin, hurt or conflict that we need to resolve or seek forgiveness for?
  5. What is a dream, craving or desire that has been on the forefront of your mind?
  6. How can I pray for you this week?

I challenge you to give a try.  At least experiment with it.  Ask your spouse if they would be willing to try it for 1 month.  That’s 4 meetings.

I’m convinced you will begin to see your spouse in a new way.  You will think less of yourself and more about the needs of your spouse.